Matt Driver introduces some of the psychology and theories underpinning our methodology of coaching.
I have the privilege of working with a small group of truly excellent coaches and supervisors who support people working towards qualifications in coaching and mentoring. As part of the qualifications, our supervisees send us recordings of their coaching practice.
One of the things we notice very consistently, is that some of these early coaching sessions appear to go around in circles, or lack focus, or just don't go anywhere. They remind me of some of the awful meetings that I've participated in over the years – you know the kind, where there is no obvious reason for the meeting, nothing seems to be decided and most of us feel we’d be better off somewhere else.
These observations point to a lack of purpose in the conversations, in other words, to a lack of goals. And if you think about some of the well-known coaching models like GROW, OSCAR or our in-house framework KIPPERTM , you'll see that setting a goal is one of the early activities in a good coaching session. It’s the lack of a clear goal which often leads to the circularity or meandering that we observe.
Critics of these models say 'Ah, but our clients don't come to us with goals, so we can't start with them'. But this is exactly the point, and exactly why these stages appear in the models: because as a coach part of my role is to help my clients find their goals, and articulate them clearly enough for both of us to work towards them.
And it is our experience that where there is a goal for a coaching session, there is greater purpose, the motivation is higher, there is much more progress, and the outcomes are significantly improved.
However, these positive results sometimes require a lot of work along the way. It can take some time to help someone switch from complaining about others, or obsessing about some negative situation, or carrying very ethereal or very broad aspirations, to articulating a goal which is usable for the coaching session.
So this initial phase of the coaching can be complex, and it can require a lot of skill on the part of the coach. Sometimes people feel frustrated that it can take so long. But of course, without spending some time getting to a goal, then the results can be blocked or significantly impaired.
It's also important to know that, while goals are a very useful thing to have and are in general a good way to begin the exploration in a coaching session, there are times when a goal focus is not appropriate, and a coach needs to be flexible enough to handle these moments. For example on one occasion a new client came into the room and said to me 'Can I just talk for a bit please'. Of course I said yes, and they then spoke for almost 45 minutes about a series of challenging situations that they faced. At the end they said to me 'Thank you, there is no one else I can say this all to'. So if I had barged on, asking what their goal was, we would have got nowhere or we would have come up with some trite ideas which did not get to the real issues. As it was, the trust that was built through offloading and being listened to, enabled the client to open up and to explore many elements in their life. Ultimately they were able to make a significant breakthrough in their career. So sometimes we need to allow clients space to download or verbally explore the situations they face. We do this, not losing sight of the fact that at some point it will be useful to agree a goal.
Anthony Grant was a pioneer in coaching research at the University of Sydney. He showed how goal focus within the coaching relationship was fundamental and a significant predictor of coaching success.
So, how do we recognise a goal when we get there? (In fact, I've seen quite a few of my supervisee's overshoot and miss a goal which has already been articulated). Useful goals for coaching need to be:
1) ‘Towards’ rather than ‘Away from’. They need to describe the desired state or situation rather than a problem that the person does not want. Therefore, they need to be couched in constructive, positive language.
- So what would you ask if your client said to you “I’m so disorganized!’?
2) About the client, not about other people or the organisation. So they are owned, and the client has within themselves the capacity to move things forward.
- What would you ask if your client said: ‘Well it’s Kim, my boss, she’s just so unfair to me all the time…’?
3) Specific enough and clear enough to work on. So, if the coach does not really understand what the goal is, then very likely neither does their client. More work is needed.
- What would you ask if your client said: ‘I want to be a better leader’?
Setting goals with our clients is a significant and generally early part of the coaching process. Whether you know it as G, O, or K, it needs time and it needs skills. And sometimes perseverance and patience. But it has immense value in terms of the outcomes achieved.
