The Perfect Employee?

1. Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2. hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without 3. wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never 4. thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always 5. finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended 6. measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee 7. breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no 8. vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound 9. knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be 10. classed as an asset employee, the type which cannot be 11.dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be 12.promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be 13. executed as soon as possible.

Later: That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report emailed to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines.

(from the Daily Telegraph)

Only in Britain

...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance

....do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters