Do Yourself a Favour and Show Some EQ

By Sandra Grealy, Management Futures consultant

Changing jobs can be enormously liberating and exhilarating. For many it can also be stressful, daunting and evoke feelings of self-doubt and low confidence. This can be particularly acute for those who are forced to re-evaluate career choices through redundancy, bankruptcy, enforced relocation or unexpected lifestyle changes.

There are ways of turning this around to view the job change process as positively and as creatively as possible. Central to this is the notion of being 'emotionally intelligent' in managing yourself and handling the change.

Emotional Intelligence or EQ is a relatively recent model, rising to prominence with Daniel Goleman's 1995 book Emotional Intelligence. Early EQ theory was developed during the 1970s and 80s through the work of psychologists Howard Gardner, Peter Salovey and John Mayer.

The EQ model argues that IQ, or conventional intelligence quotient, is too narrow on its own and that there are wider areas of emotional intelligence that determine how successful we are. For example, we have all met people with high IQ and low EQ, who are academically brilliant and yet are socially awkward and never quite get it right with other people.

EQ embraces two aspects of intelligence, firstly the ability to understand yourself, your goals, intentions, responses and behaviours and secondly the ability to understand and relate to others.

Goleman identified the five 'domains' of EQ as:

• Knowing your emotions or self-awareness
• Managing your own emotions or self regulation
• Motivating yourself
• Recognising and understanding other people's emotions – showing empathy
• Managing relationships or demonstrating social skill

At times of job change, we experience a myriad of emotions. Taking Goleman’s first two domains, it is healthy to have enough self awareness to recognise these feelings as they happen and also manage the feelings and emotions appropriately.

If the individual is involuntarily pushed from a job they may travel through the curve of emotions psychologists call transitions – ranging from disbelief, anger, sadness, paralysis through to cautious experimentation and adjustment.

The transition period can be a few days or extend through to months or years. It will be influenced by how you feel about yourself and the kind of support you have from others. In Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change, William Bridges talks of three basic stages of transition – the Ending Stage, the Neutral Stage and the New Beginning Stage. Sometimes you will deal with one stage before moving on to the next and other times you will slide back and forth between stages.

During the Ending Stage you may feel angry, sad or shocked and not want to accept the new situation, but until you recognise, accept and let go, you can’t move on to the next stage, the Neutral Stage.

The Neutral Stage can be the most uncomfortable because of its uncertainty. However, it is also the stage which can offer the greatest opportunity to learn about yourself, learn from the past and think about opportunities for the future. This stage can be a bridge between old and new identities and handled in an emotionally intelligent way, it can offer a great time to question, reflect, network, explore options and consider next steps.

As well as self awareness and self management, Goleman’s third domain, motivation, is key to helping you move through the Neutral Stage into the New Beginning Stage. Looking after yourself, eating sensibly, getting sufficient sleep and exercise may all sound very obvious, but can be enormously helpful to support this transition.

Practical steps include:

• Taking stock of where you are and where you want to be in the future
• Conducting a realistic assessment of your current skills and experience
• Extending your repertoire – considering courses of study or developing new skills and expertise
• Updating your CV and profile
• Networking extensively and using your support networks
• Considering interim options such as voluntary work

It is important to be realistic about timescales and to think creatively about how you could use your network for help, advice and introductions.

From personal experience of leaving a job I'd outgrown, I know just how tough it can be to maintain one's energy, motivation and focus. I've tasted that hard-to-swallow cocktail too – one part each of guilt, frustration and anxiety!

I moved though this period by following the steps above and specifically through networking and seeking support from family and friends. In the back of my mind was the thought that most of us spend a third of our waking hours at work – if we don’t enjoy what we do, this has a big impact on our enjoyment and quality of life.

If you are unsure of what you want to do, there are many useful psychometrics that are useful in assessing personality style and aptitudes. Some such as the Strong Interest Inventory, Occupational Personality Questionnaire and Scheins Career Anchors, can help individuals identify which spheres they want to work in. Coaching can also be enormously beneficial in helping the individual maintain their motivation throughout the job change process.

But then you would be surprised if I didn’t say that!

For some constructive job-change coaching by Sandra Grealy, contact Management Furtures on 020 7242 4030.