The Tambourine Sounds Better from a Distance

Our roving associate, Louise Coates, reflects on her first experiences of coaching across cultures in Dubai

Will they accept me as a Western, female coach, I wondered constantly as we packed up the Earl Grey tea bags and headed for the cultural melting pot of Dubai.

After the usual round of networking events and interminable cups of very strong Arab coffee (“no really, no sugar at all please”) I was fortunate to find a couple of companies looking for help with 'problem managers' and another wanting to prepare their Arab managers for a leadership programme in a Western culture.

The 'problem' cases included a Yorkshire woman, an IT director who felt that she was not taken seriously by her Arab bosses, a young Palestinian marketing manager whose aggressive behaviour suggested that he took all comments on his work as a personal, culturally-biased slight, and a German-Swiss manager with low social confidence.

The Management Futures coaching principles and practices work well, of course, and it became evident that being a newcomer to the ways of the UAE is no handicap. Focusing clearly on the client’s issue and being direct with observations helped these clients to identify their own, more effective, paths forward.

The really interesting part has been coaching three Arab men, all retail bank managers. Two arrive dressed in the full beautifully-pressed white kit (thobes), the third maximises every opportunity to show off his latest Levi jeans and tightest tee-shirts, also immaculately pressed. As I get to know them I am warming to their humour, gentleness and cultural anecdotes.

Responding to their issues means helping with complex English constructs (where I can!), explaining what “Enron” is and guiding them on how to facilitate a group meeting where other people might just want to say something too.

It has been fascinating to learn how our expressions can be misinterpreted in Arabic. So whilst feeling 'blue' for us usually means sad, for Arabs it suggests wellbeing, no clouds in the sky, things are good. Instead of “the grass is always greener on the other side”, try the local Arab expression next time, “the tambourine sounds better from a distance” – see how that confuses!

It was Marwan, the Levi’s man, who gave me the greatest coaching tips. Here they are, for anyone else who’s thinking of traveling the Arab cultural routes. I can thoroughly recommend the journey.

1. Dress and act demurely. Meetings should be in private, but not too private. As a woman coaching a man, ensure there are other people around to avoid risking his reputation!
2. Explain very clearly, at every session, that the purpose for any feedback is to help. It could otherwise be heard as criticism, which involves loosing face
3. Keep questions short and direct. Terms such as possibilities, implications and barriers promote confusion not the deep insight we seek as coaches!
4. Be prepared for long answers. This is a very talkative society where stories are not just history, but colourful explanations of how they view the world

Louise moved to Dubai with her husband in January this year. She is now a business coach across the United Arab Emirates, running Management Futures coaching programmes including the five-day Intensive Skills course. Contact her for more details, and enjoy a holiday in the sun at the same time as training! louise@managementfutures.co.uk