A media release announces the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Bureaucratium".

Bureaucratium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by morons.

Because B has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes in contact. A minute amount of B causes one reaction to take more than r days to complete, when it should only take less than a second.

B has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, B's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation causes some morons to become neutrons forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that B is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is refereed to as "Critical Morass".