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It sometimes seems as if every other consultant I meet
is 'into' executive coaching. At a recent seminar on
coaching given by a distinguished US coach, there were
120 of us in the room. Strikingly, about half described
themselves as "new to it", or "just starting
out".
What goes into making a brilliant coach?
Remember the great Gary Player's comment? "I find
that the more I practise, the luckier I get". Quite.
You certainly need natural aptitude, but there's no
real substitute for experience. As a coach myself, I
have a coach (of course) and she is a great coach. She's
been doing it for many years.
We thoroughly alarm the participants on our coaching
training courses by suggesting that you need about 1,000
hours of practice before you can even begin to think
of yourself as experienced enough. If an 'average' client
has six two-hour sessions, that means a coach needs
to clock up about 80 clients.
Think of it as being like learning a language or to
play a musical instrument. To get past the struggling
beginner level, you probably need about the same amount
of practice: 1,000 hours. After that you can think of
yourself as being at the intermediate level.
Training can make a huge impact on effectiveness. Spot
the difference:
– would it be a good idea to consult
your colleagues about this?
– who else could you consult about
this?
Two apparently similar questions, very different impact.
The first is an advice-in-disguise question, and if
all the coach does is advice-in-disguise, he or she
will soon have a very undermined client.
The second question obliges the client to do their
own thinking –- far better. Learning how to ask
this type of powerful question and only this
type of question takes discipline and focus.
When we train coaches, we introduce them to no fewer
than 30 different skills in which they should expect
proficiency. These can range from the ‘meta-skills’
of asking powerful questions to the apparently
more mundane such as learning how and when to interrupt
a client – not quite so easy as it may seem.
In the early parts of the course, these skills are
practised and learnt separately, but then we set our
coaches loose on ‘real’ clients, willing guinea pigs
with real issues. Here the trainees are observed and
given blow by blow assessments of how well they are
putting all these skills together.
We often hear the comment from participants that it
reminds them of learning to drive. "‘You learn
the skills as discrete processes, but then you have
to learn how to use them all at once, and you never
know when or how that challenge is going to come!"
said one of our course members, speaking here for many
others.
As a coach, you must be able to keep your personal
issues well out of the way. One GP I sometimes consult
never lets me leave her surgery before telling me about
her problems. Excuse me! I'm the patient here!
As a coach it's not your job to sort out your own problems
through your clients. If their problems touch a nerve
for you – and they will from time to time –
you have to know how to manage yourself.
Equally, you must learn to recognise your boundaries.
Coaching isn't psychotherapy. A client who needs psychotherapy
needs to be referred to a psychotherapist.
Executive clients want to know that you've been at
the sharp end as a senior manager. They also have a
right to expect familiarity with as many hundreds of
models, theories and helpful ideas about leadership
as you have been able to stuff into your notebooks over
the years.
You need courage: for instance to speak the unspeakable
with a client who doesn't understand how he bullies
his staff, or with a client who will never get a promotion
as Chief Executive while she dresses as if for the pub
on Friday night.
You need empathy, for instance to comfort the client
still mourning a dead partner, or less dramatically,
a client still bitterly disappointed over a failed attempt
at promotion.
You need to know how adults learn, and how to apply
with clients what you know about learning. You need
to understand that 'learning' and 'teaching' are two
entirely different and, sadly, often unconnected processes.
You need insight: into human psychology and all its
labyrinthine paths of self-delusion, hope, despair,
generosity and humour.
Finally, you need humility. Coaching is unbelievably
privileged and interesting work. Clients share their
struggles, vulnerabilities and aspirations with us and
give us their trust. Respect for clients as equal partners
in a journey is the only possible position for a coach.
So how many years does it take to make a great coach?
I don't know. I've been doing it for ten, and I'm still
hoping to get there one day.
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