Now that I'm older here's what I discovered

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. If all is not lost, where is it?
3. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere
4. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom
5. It's not hard to meet expenses – they're everywhere
6. I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart
7. If God had wanted me to touch my toes he would have put them on my knees.